It is often said that there are three types of people in the world:

I am continually amazed and fascinated by the number of people who either consciously or unconsciously believe in fate. What do I mean by that? Try it yourself - listen to your colleagues and your mates talking and count how many times a day you hear them say “if only”. “If only the managers here knew how good I am . . . if only people would realise how talented I am . . . if only I had more money . . . if only I were a bit younger . . . if only I were older . . . if only I were in charge around here . . . if only people would listen to me . . . I’d be more successful.”

Count how many times you hear yourself saying it (or words to that effect) - and then think about how much energy you’re using up in moaning and what you could be using it for instead.

Woody Allen said that the world is run by the people who turn up. When you talk to any successful person, they all say that in life there are either results or excuses.

Or think about what writer George Bernard Shaw said:

Richard Branson found the right circumstances to build a business. He decided to set up his Virgin Atlantic airline after he had tried to book a flight to New York and had spent a morning hitting the redial button on the phone, as the only current company doing flights to America was continually engaged. How many of us would find ourselves cursing and getting frustrated? Instead, he saw an opportunity. He reasoned that the company was either very poorly managed, in which case it would be an easy target for new competition, or so much in demand that there was room for new competition. He saw a result, not an excuse to give up trying.

Literally everything you do and everything you are - from how much money you earn to where you work, how successful you are as a parent, a friend or a workmate, and where you live - is a direct result of the decisions you have then made. You’ve made the decision to pick up this book and read up to this point. I would therefore encourage you to make another decision to read on. You’ll read about the lessons you can learn from meeting and reading about successful people, and I hope the structure of the book will make you think and help you achieve what you really want.

Viktor Frankl was a Jewish prisoner who survived the Nazi concentration camps but saw his wife and children killed in them. He has written a book about his experiences and talks about how he was forced to face the worst possible circumstances anyone could imagine, but he still believed that he had a choice. The only thing the Nazis couldn’t take from him was his own attitude. He made a deliberate decision that they would not dictate how he felt. He could choose that. He said:

If that powerful message isn’t enough to persuade you to make a choice about your attitude, there is another good reason. You will live longer. You may respond to that by arguing that there is no way taking responsibility for yourself and your circumstances can influence your life expectancy, that lots of variables come into play: diet, work pressures, diseases and so on. So where could you do a study where everyone was submitted to the same environment? How about a convent?

A group of psychologists analysed the attitude of nuns before they entered a convent. They discovered that 90 per cent of the nuns who took personal responsibility for themselves and their lives were still alive at the age of 84. In contrast, only 34 per cent of those who didn’t accept full accountability were alive.

Finally, if Jerry Springer is a little too lowbrow for you, I will finish off this chapter by quoting from another notable philosopher, Oprah Winfrey:

Do you choose to sink or swim?

Beyond the usual comments about being great fun, always standing your round and being a good husband/wife/dad and so on, do you think anyone would be able to say what your purpose was, why you were on earth?

Wayne Bennett, a legendary Australian rugby league coach, summed this up well when, before a State of Origin match (the sporting series of Australia), he challenged his players to train and play as well as they possibly could, in order to fulfil the purpose which they had been assigned and which they were born to meet, with the words:

What a brilliant phrase that is. What do you think is the music in you?

Psychologist Sigmund Freud called our purpose “the golden seed”. At some stage in their formative years, most successful people remember someone telling them that they had a special talent. It could have been a teacher, a first boss, a priest, occasionally a relative, sometimes a mother or father. They tucked this private nugget away in their heart, but in times of doubt or uncertainty they pulled it out to reassure themselves that they were indeed pursuing their purpose.

Lance Armstrong, who fell in love with cycling at the age of 15, was influenced by his mother, who wanted him to keep fit and active. Richard Branson, one of Britain’s most successful entrepreneurs, discovered his talent when he started a school magazine with some mates. Muhammad Ali’s anger at feeling powerless to stop his bike being stolen by bigger, stronger kids led him to a boxing ring, where he was encouraged by his local police officer. For Tim Waterstone, the founder of the famous bookshops, it was a fascination with marketing along with his interest in books that fired his passion for bookselling. Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb, was called a “stupid, muddle-headed blockhead” by a teacher at school. His mother who recognized his “golden seed” and she went to the school and told the teachers that her son possessed real intelligence. He said:

We all have a unique purpose. So how do you discover yours?

Here are a few suggestions for you to think about: