Golf For Dummies^®, 2nd Edition

Introduction

Welcome to Golf For Dummies, 2nd Edition. If this is the first golf book you’ve ever held in your hands, don’t worry. I’ve read more of them than I can count, and this one’s a particular favourite. To bring you this edition, I’ve gone back through everything I wrote in the previous edition, updating some material, writing a bunch more to keep up with this fast-changing game and making everything even clearer and easier to follow.

Not to mention funnier!

Golf, like life itself, can be hard but is ultimately enjoyable. As you begin your adventure in the most maddening and wondrous game of all, please remember: golf is fun. And the fun starts here.

About This Book

I’ve written this book for the rankest beginner, although I like to think that I have something to offer golfers at every level, even the pros. (Of course, my buddies on the professional tours will probably read this book just to see whether I can write a coherent sentence.) The guys I grew up with at San Luis Rey golf course in Southern California will check it out to see whether I’ve used any of their funniest lines.

As you may already have spotted, I’m based in the US, so those thoughtful For Dummies people have teamed me up with Tony on this book, to provide the expert insights into British golf. Most of the time, you’re reading my take on the world of golf, but from time to time you’ll spot some particularly British advice from him.

What you have here is no ordinary golf-instruction book. Most of the golf books you find in your local bookstore (or, increasingly, online) are written by professional players or teachers. As such, they focus solely on the golf swing. Golf For Dummies covers a lot more than the swing. This book ought to be the only one you need as you develop a golf dependency. (Feel free to consult a doctor when you feel the first symptoms coming on – grinding your teeth, talking to yourself after missing a shot, punching the air after making one. These are the warning signs. But remember: this book is cheaper than a visit to the doctor.)

When I started out on the US PGA Tour in 1974, I was full of fight and enthusiasm but lacked a basic knowledge of golf-swing mechanics. A warm panic would start to rise in me about ten minutes before I was due to tee off. My old friends Doubt and Dread would join me at the first tee. My brain would be racing, trying to figure out what swing thought (that one aspect of the swing that you meditate on to keep focused) to use that day. Most of the time, I’d be left with a thought like, ‘Keep the left elbow toward magnetic north on the downswing.’ Usually, that action resulted in a silly-looking slice into uncharted territory.

I swung the club that way for most of my career. So I know what it’s like to play without knowledge or a solid foundation. Believe me, I’m a lot happier – and having a lot more fun – now that I know what I’m doing.

The reason I’m qualified to help you is that I have made a serious effort to become a student of the game. When I started working on golf TV broadcasts for CBS in the US, I didn’t know much about the inner workings of the swing. But my new job forced me to learn. My odyssey led me to seek advice from some of the world’s greatest teachers.

One of them was Mac O’Grady, a golfer I grew up with in Southern California. O’Grady had researched his method with passion since 1983. The result was a swing model that worked. I was lucky to study under O’Grady, and I can’t thank him enough. But I don’t cover Mac’s model in this book; it’s for advanced golfers. No one has ever called me advanced, so I’m gonna stick to basics.

Golf For Dummies puts you on track to becoming not just someone who can hit a golf ball, but rather a real golfer. You’ll soon discover the big difference between the two.

Conventions Used in This Book

To make the text even more accessible, I’ve used some handy conventions throughout the book:

New words or terms are formatted in italics and accompanied by a definition.

Bold text denotes the specific steps of processes that I’ve spelled out. It also highlights key words in bulleted lists.

Website addresses are in monofont. When this book was printed, some website addresses may have needed to break across two lines of text. If that happened, rest assured that I haven’t put in any extra characters (like hyphens) to indicate the break. When using one of these website addresses, just type exactly what you see in this book, pretending that the line break doesn’t exist.

I write for right-handed players. If you’re left-handed, simply reverse the instructions for your dominant side.

What You’re Not to Read

The publishers and I have put this book together with your convenience in mind. Nice, huh? For that reason, I’m pointing out the text you don’t have to read:

When you see the Technical Stuff icon (shown later in this introduction), you can skip that text if you want to. The information isn’t essential to understanding the rest of the book.

The same goes for sidebars, which are scattered through the book and printed on grey backgrounds. Sidebars are extra added attractions. I’ve tried to make them fun and informative, but they aren’t crucial to the rest of the book. Feel free to skip over them; you won’t hurt my feelings.

Foolish Assumptions

Because you picked up this book, I assume that you’re interested in golf. I also assume that you’re not already a great golfer, or else you’d be out there making millions on the US PGA Tour. Beyond that, I’m going to suppose that you’re a little like I was when I became a professional golfer.

Having said that, I’m assuming that you’ve probably dabbled with golf and want to get better. In my experience, most people give golf a try before they seek instruction. It must be an ego thing, kind of like those people who don’t like to ask for directions when they get lost because they feel that it’s an admission of failure. If that’s you, think of me as your personal GPS: your Golfer Positioning System.

How This Book Is Organised

Golf For Dummies leads you through the process of becoming a golfer. Beginners need many questions answered as they take on the game. I’ve organised this book so that you take those steps one by one and can flip to them any time for quick reference. May this journey be a pleasant one!

Part I: Welcome to a Great Game

Where do I play, and what’s the course record? Wait a minute! First you need to know what this game is about. You need clubs. You need to know how to swing those clubs. You may want to take a lesson to see whether you like the game and then find golf clubs that fit you. In this part, I show you how to choose your clubs and give you some tips on the questions to ask before you make your purchase. Then I give you some ideas about what kind of golf courses to play. Picking up golf is a never-ending process of discovery, and it starts right here.

Part II: You Ain’t Got a Thing If You Ain’t Got That Swing

This part gets right to the point: I give you a close look at the workings of the golf swing and help with your mental preparation. You also get a good look at the short game, where most scoring takes place. I show you how to blast your way out of bunkers and how to develop a sound putting stroke.

Part III: Common Faults and Easy Fixes

In this part, I tackle the tough shots and help you deal with bad luck and bad weather. You’ll develop many faults during your golfing life, and this part tells you how to fix most of them. You took a great first step by buying this book.

Part IV: Taking Your Game Public

In this part, you get the final touches of your education as a golfer. You discover how the rules were established, how to conduct yourself on the golf course and the fine art of betting. You even get the do’s and don’ts of golf-course etiquette. This part lets you walk on to any golf course and look like you know what you’re doing. Because you will know what you’re doing.

Part V: How to Be a Smart Golf Consumer

A sad fact of life is that you can’t always be out on the course. In this part, I show you how to max out a day as a spectator and how to tap into the best of golf on TV, online and in video games.

Part VI: The Part of Tens

This part contains the best-of, the most memorable and some stuff that won’t mean much to anybody except me. I just thought you’d enjoy knowing about it.

Part VII: Appendixes

Golfers have a language all their own. Appendix A lists the terms you want to add to your vocabulary. Appendix B lists some of the more popular golf organisations and resources, along with a select list of schools around the country.

Icons Used in This Book

As I guide you through this maze of golf wit and wisdom, I use several handy road signs. Look for these friendly icons; they point you toward valuable advice and hazards to watch out for.

This icon marks golf hazards to avoid or at least be aware of. Be careful!

The Tip icon flags quick, easy ways to improve your game.

When you see this icon, be on the lookout for recommendations I swear by (follow them or I will never speak to you again) and important personal stories from my years of playing and covering golf.

This information may make your head spin; take two aspirin and get plenty of rest.

This icon flags information that’s important enough to repeat.

Where to Go from Here

Feel free to flip through this book, picking your spots. It isn’t designed to be read like a novel from cover to cover. If you’re a complete novice, you may take a look at Appendix A first, to get comfortable with the language. If you’re a little more advanced and need help with a specific aspect of your game or swing, you can find that information in Chapters 6 through 10. The rest of the book helps you make that vital jump from golf novice to real golfer.

As Frank Chirkinian, my former boss at the US television network CBS, said, ‘Golf is not a game; it’s a way of life. If it was a game, someone would have figured it out by now.’

Frank was right. But you can figure out how to get started in golf the right way and enjoy the game. That’s what this book is for.

Chapter 1

Why Play Golf?

In This Chapter

Uncovering golf’s history

Answering the question ‘What makes golf special?’

Looking at a standard golf course

Understanding the benefits of smart play

Taking steps toward being a ‘real’ golfer

Golf is simple. You’ve got clubs and a ball. You have to hit the ball into a series of holes laid out in the middle of a large, grassy field. After you finish the 18th hole, you may want to go to the clubhouse bar and tell lies about your on-course feats to anyone you didn’t play with that day. But if you’re like most golfers, you play the game for much more than the chance to impress gullible strangers. You play for relaxation, companionship and a chance to enjoy the great outdoors. Of course, you also encounter some hazards out there. This game is anything but straightforward.

How It All Began: Discovering Golf’s Origins

Golf dates back to medieval Scotland, on the misty east coast of Fife. Some historians say golf began when Scottish shepherds used their long wooden crooks to knock rocks at rabbit holes. Their hobby became so habit-forming that the Scots of later centuries played ‘gowf’ instead of practising their archery.

The first printed reference to golf came in 1457, when Scotland’s King James II banned ‘gowf’ so that his subjects could concentrate on their archery – the better to beat the hated English on the battlefield. Golf was outlawed until 1501. After that, James’s descendants, including his great-great-granddaughter Mary, Queen of Scots, embraced the game. (The original golf widow, she scandalised Britain by playing golf in the days after her husband, Lord Darnley, was murdered.)

The wooden golf balls of Queen Mary’s day gave way to featheries – leather pouches stuffed with goose feathers – and then gutty balls made from gutta-percha rubber imported to Scotland from Malaysia in the 1850s. In 1860 one of the best Scottish golfers, Tom Morris of St Andrews, helped organise the first Open Championship, the tournament that launched modern professional golf. Scottish pros immigrated to the United States, introduced Americans to the game and the rest is history. And frustration. And fun.

Examining Why Golf Is Unique

You’ve probably heard that business leaders are constantly making huge deals on the course, advancing their careers. Well, ‘constantly’ may be an overstatement – business leaders, like other players, spend much of their time on the course looking for wayward golf balls. But it’s true that golf can help you climb the corporate ladder. That’s one reason to play.

And it’s about the 167th most-important reason. More important reasons include spending time with friends, staying in shape and enjoying some of the most beautiful scenery you’ll ever see. (All tennis courts are pretty much the same, but each golf course is different from every other, and many are designed to show off their gorgeous settings.) Golf is a physical and mental challenge – it tests your skill and your will.

Golf’s also a game for a lifetime. Your friends may play football and cricket at school, but how many are still scoring goals or centuries when they’re 30, 40 or 60 years old?

The most important reason to play, though, is that golf is magic. It’s maddening, frustrating, crazy – and totally addictive. After it becomes part of your life, you can barely imagine life without it.

Golf is also famously difficult. If it were easy, everyone would play the game. As I see it, two main factors are responsible for that:

The ball doesn’t move on its own.

You have, on average, about three minutes between shots.

In other words, you don’t react to the ball as you do in most sports. A cricket ball gets thrown, hit and spat on. A football gets passed, kicked and run up and down the field. A tennis ball gets served, volleyed and lobbed all over the place. But a golf ball just sits there, daring you not to lose it.

In most sports, you have only an instant to react to the action. Your natural athleticism takes over, and you move to the ball. In golf, you get far too long to think about what you’re doing. Thinking too much can strangle the soul and warp the mind.

Maybe golf would be easier if the ball moved and you were on skates. Then you could stop worrying and react. But if it were easy, it wouldn’t be golf, would it?

Breaking Down a Typical Course

Most golf courses have 18 holes, although a few, usually because of a lack of money or land, have only 9 holes. The 19th hole is golf-speak for the clubhouse bar – the place where you can reflect on your game over a refreshing beverage of your choice. (See Appendix A for the lowdown on golf jargon.) Courses beside the sea are called links, in honour of the parts of Scotland where the game began. (They were the link between beach and farmland.) Many people use ‘links’ to mean any golf course, but we purists stick to the correct usage: a links is a course by the sea.

Most golf courses are between 5,500 and 7,000 yards. A few monsters are longer, but leave those courses to the pros you see on TV. Start at the low end of that scale and work your way up.

Every hole is a par-3, a par-4 or a par-5. (Par-2s are for minigolf courses; the exceedingly rare par-6s tend to be gimmicks.) Par is the number of strokes a competent golfer should take to play a particular hole. For example, on a par-5 hole, a regulation par may consist of a drive, two more full swings and two putts. Two putts is the standard on every green.

Three putts are too many. One putt is a bonus. The bottom line is that in a perfect round of par golf, half the allocated strokes should be taken on the greens. That premise makes putting crucial. (I talk about how to putt in Chapter 9.)

Obviously, a par-5 is longer than a par-4 (two full swings, two putts), which in turn is longer than a par-3 (one full swing, two putts). With rare exceptions, par-3s are from 100 to 250 yards in length; par-4s are from 180 to 500 yards long, barring severe topography; and par-5s are from 471 to 690 yards.

Many courses in the United Kingdom have a total par of 72, typically consisting of ten par-4s (40), four par-3s (12) and four par-5s (20). But you can find golf courses with total pars of anywhere from 62 to 74. Almost anything goes. Table 1-1 lists the yardages that determine par on a hole, for men and women. Note that these guidelines don’t always refer to precise yardages, but rather to what the Council of National Golf Unions in the UK (CONGU), calls a hole’s ‘effective playing length’. A 460-yard hole that goes straight uphill, for example, may be a par-5 for men.

Table 1-1 Regulation Yardages

	Women	Men
Par-3	210 yards or less	250 yards or less
Par-4	180 to 430 yards	220 to 500 yards

Source: Council of National Golf Unions

That’s the big picture. You often find several different teeing areas on each hole so that you can play the hole from different lengths based on your level of skill. The vast majority of holes have more than one teeing area – usually four. I’ve seen courses with as many as six different tees on one hole. Deciding which tee area to use can make you silly. So the tee areas are marked with color-coded tees that indicate ability to help you out:

The blue tees are invariably the back tees and are for long-ball strikers or lower handicap players only.

The white tees are usually slightly ahead of the blue and make the holes shorter, but still hard enough. Club competitions are played from these tees.

The yellow tees are for everyday casual play and are the right choice for most men, beginning golfers and capable senior players. Stray from the yellow tees at your peril.

The red tees are traditionally used by women or junior golfers, although many women I play with use the same tees I play.

Playing a Smart Game

Simply stated, the goal of golf is to get the ball into each of 18 holes in succession with the fewest number of shots, using no more than 14 clubs. After you hit the ball into all the holes, you add up your scores from each hole. The lower your total score, the better. That’s it.

The game’s charm lies in the journey. As you play, you find countless ways to get the ball into the hole in as few strokes as possible. Many outside stimuli – and many more inside your head – make golf one of the most interesting, maddening, thrilling and just plain fun endeavours you’ll ever find.

The best advice I can give you is to relax. Stay calm, make prudent decisions and never hit a shot while contemplating other matters. You should play golf with complete concentration and no ego. The game tempts you to try feats of derring-do. To play your best, you must judge your talents and abilities honestly. You alone determine your success or failure: should you try to make it over the water and go for the green that’s 240 yards away? Or play it safe?

Don’t get greedy – play the game one step at a time. Figure 1-1 shows a smart course of action. You start at the tee and hit your drive to Point A. From there, it’s 240 yards to the green, with a watery grave lurking to the left. So you lay up to Point B and go from there to the green via Point C. This approach doesn’t always work – you may aim for Point B and still yank your second shot into the pond – but it’s the smart play. And that’s the key to good golf.

Score is everything. As you see in Chapters 8, 9 and 10, the most pivotal shots occur within 100 yards of the hole. If you can save strokes there, your score will be lower than that of the player whose sole purpose in life is to crush the ball as far as possible. So practise your putting, sand play, chips and pitches twice as much as your driving. Your hard work will pay off, and your friends will be the ones dipping into their wallets (assuming you’re wagering, as I discuss in Chapter 15).

Becoming a ‘Real’ Golfer

What’s a ‘real’ golfer? The three essential characteristics are:

You understand the game.

You can play it a little.

You never dishonour its spirit.

Anyone can smack a ball aimlessly around a course. (I can already hear my fellow professionals saying, ‘Yeah – like you, McCord!’) But that doesn’t make you a real golfer. There’s much more to this game than hitting a ball with a stick.

How can you start becoming a real golfer? Easy: read this book. You find everything you need to get started, from equipment to instruction to common problems, etiquette, betting and more. I tell you about the pitfalls that beginners face (and I’m not just talking bunkers) and how to avoid them.

You need to start by buying golf clubs and balls. You don’t have to shell out thousands of pounds to get started. You can start simple – use cheap equipment at first and spend more if you enjoy the game. (Check out Chapter 2 for tips on what you need to get started.)

After you have golf clubs, you need to know how to grip the club: the V between the thumb and forefinger of your top hand should point to your right shoulder (for righties; reverse it if you’re left-handed), and the golf club is more in your fingers and not so much in the palm of your hand. That seems simple, but you wouldn’t believe how many beginners get it wrong and complicate their voyage to the promised land of ‘real’ golfers. (Chapter 6 has more information on this gripping – pardon the pun – topic.)

When you’ve got the grip down pat, along with the setup, you’re ready to swing. Believe me, the swing isn’t as easy as it looks. That’s why I devote an entire chapter – Chapter 7 – to developing your own swing.

Knowing when to hit (and when not to), how to keep score, proper etiquette and how to bet are integral parts of the game. You’ve probably heard about golf etiquette, handicaps and one- and two-stroke penalties – and maybe even such goofy-sounding concepts as nassaus, skins and barkies. If not, don’t worry. The chapters in Part III give you the lowdown on these and other important topics.

Living the Golf Life

As any true golf nut can tell you, there’s more to the game than playing it. You also have the fun of feeding your addiction by watching the sport in person or on TV, following it on the Internet and playing virtual golf when the snow piles up outside. (See Part V for a guide to those off-the-course outlets.)

If the golf bug bites you, as it has bitten millions of others, that little sucker will have you living and breathing birdies, bogeys, barkies and digital dimples – all the stuff that keeps golf nuts going when they’re not actually out on the course, slapping balls who knows where.