Details

<p>Case Stories xi</p> <p>Introduction xiii</p> <p>Acknowledgments xxi</p> <p><b>Chapter 1 Difficult People and the Art of Aikidō 1</b></p> <p>Martial Arts—East Does Not Meet West 2</p> <p>Verbal Arts 3</p> <p>Instinctual Reactions 4</p> <p>Turning the Spotlight 5</p> <p>Response versus Reaction 6</p> <p><b>Chapter 2 Acting as If—The Art of Confirming 9</b></p> <p>What and Why of Confirming 10</p> <p>Art of Agreement 11</p> <p>Speak It as You Want It 13</p> <p>Counting on Compliments 16</p> <p>Drama Is Worth a Thousand Words 22</p> <p>Reverse Resistance with Psychology 24</p> <p>Exercise 25</p> <p>All-Purpose Confirmations 27</p> <p><b>Chapter 3 Asking Questions—The Art of Inquiry 31</b></p> <p>Dialogues 32</p> <p>Pseudoquestions 34</p> <p>Asking Questions to Avoid Assumptions 35</p> <p>Asking Hidden Questions to Promote Contemplation 37</p> <p>Spotlight Effect 38</p> <p>Asking Questions to Prevent Prying 39</p> <p>Asking Questions to Evoke Inquiry 41</p> <p>Asking Questions that Give People a False Choice 44</p> <p>Asking Questions that Predict Success 46</p> <p>Exercise 47</p> <p>All-Purpose Questions 49</p> <p><b>Chapter 4 Active Listening—The Art of Understanding 51</b></p> <p>How Listening Became Active 52</p> <p>Therapeutic Triangles—Reflect Harsh Words Away from Targets 58</p> <p>Narrating Behavior and Diction 59</p> <p>Naming the Game 61</p> <p>Filial Therapy Narrations 62</p> <p>Refinement of Active Listening 64</p> <p>Active Listening Add-Ons 65</p> <p>Active Listening for Empowerment 67</p> <p>Exercise 71</p> <p>Advantages of Active Listening 73</p> <p><b>Chapter 5 Hypnosis and Humor—The Art of Evoking 75</b></p> <p>Modern Hypnotherapy 76</p> <p>Hypnotic Basics in the Verbal Arts 78</p> <p>Advanced Hypnotic Patterns 79</p> <p>Exercise 95</p> <p>Comedy Connection 97</p> <p><b>Chapter 6 Taking a Stand by Opposing 101</b></p> <p>‘‘I’’ Position 102</p> <p>Taking a Stand Effortlessly 103</p> <p>Disagreeing Effortlessly 108</p> <p>Handling a Backlash 109</p> <p>Buber Takes a Stand 111</p> <p><b>Chapter 7 Teaching Positive Speaking to Clients 115</b></p> <p>Positive Speaking Training Steps 115</p> <p>Aikidō Cross Training (Step 5) 117</p> <p>Positive Speaking for Interpersonal Issues 118</p> <p>Interference from Inner Bullies 120</p> <p>Limits of Positive Speaking 122</p> <p>Goals of Positive Speaking 124</p> <p>Maintaining Balance with High-Wire Families 125</p> <p><b>Chapter 8 Workshops on Positive Speaking 129</b></p> <p>Bonus: For Practice or Presentations 130</p> <p>Possible Workshop Titles 130</p> <p>Program Description 131</p> <p>Learning Objectives 132</p> <p>Materials 133</p> <p>Scripted Program Outline 133</p> <p>Quiz 143</p> <p>Feedback Form 148</p> <p>Handout 149</p> <p>Questionnaire 150</p> <p>Cruel Comments Worksheet 150</p> <p>Quiz Answers 155</p> <p>Appendix A Verbal Arts Terms 159</p> <p>Appendix B All-Purpose One-Liners 165</p> <p>Appendix C Psychotherapy Approaches Referenced in the Text 167</p> <p>References 171</p> <p>About the Author 173</p> <p>Index 175</p>

<p><b>KATE COHEN-POSEY</b> is Director of Psychiatric & Psychological Services in Lakeland, Florida. She is the author of <i>Empowering Dialogues Within: A Workbook for Helping Professionals and Their Clients, Brief Therapy Client Handouts</i> (both published by Wiley) and <i>How to Handle Bullies, Teasers, and Other Meanies</i>. A dynamic presenter, she has a passion for helping laypeople and professionals discover grace in life's grueling moments.

<p><i>"Making Hostile Words Harmless</i> contains skills that change lives. Everyone who reads this book will wish they had read it years and years ago. Highly recommended."</br> <b>—Stephen R. Lankton, MSW, DAHB, DCSW, Editor, <i>American Journal of Clinical Hypnosis</i></b> <p>"Ancient wisdom and sound therapeutic practice meet current challenges for making the hostile harmless. In this book, Kate Cohen-Posey provides a pragmatic therapeutic posture illustrated by heaps of helpful one-line examples with potential benefits for clients and therapists alike."</br> <b>—George W. Burns, Clinical Psychologist Director, Milton H. Erickson Institute of Western Australia</b> <p>"Kate Cohen-Posey has written a delightful book to help clients create reframes, positive responses, and alternative perspectives to the negative comments of others. If people read this book, who knows, maybe civility with a touch of humor will break out."</br> <b>—William J. Matthews, PhD, Editor, <i>Current Thinking and Research in Brief Therapy</i></b> <p><b>A GROUNDBREAKING NEW GUIDE INTRODUCING A CREATIVE AND POSITIVE APPROACH FOR DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE</b> <p><i>Making Hostile Words Harmless</i> creatively offers therapists and their clients a unique collection of effective exercises and bully-busting responses guaranteed to defuse difficult exchanges. <p>Based on the martial art of <i>Aikido—</i> the "way of harmony"—as a model to teach the verbal arts of confirming, inquiring, understanding, and evoking, this unique book: <ul> <li>Helps professionals and their clients learn empowering skills that will enable them to deal with negative verbiage and hurtful words</li> <li>Presents an easy-to-remember acronym, 'AAAH,' for neutralizing negativity: Acting-as-if, Asking questions, Active listening, and Hypnotic and humorous responses</li> <li>Offers sample dialogues, case vignettes, and other??tools for using this approach</li> </ul> <p>Infused with wisdom and a strong dose of humor, <i>Making Hostile Words Harmless</i> presents a unique combination of ancient philosophy and current psychology that offers antidotes to venomous communication with the goal of ending word warfare.

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