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Table of Contents
Introduction
About This Book
Conventions Used in This Book
Foolish Assumptions
How This Book Is Organised
Part I: The Basics of Life Coaching
Part II: Your Life Coaching Journey
Part III: Focusing on the Elements of Your Life
Part IV: Working with the Themes of Coaching
Part V: Creating a Harmonious Whole Life
Part VI: The Part of Tens
Icons Used in This Book
Where to Go from Here
Part I: The Basics of Life Coaching
Chapter 1: Introducing Life Coaching
A Brief Definition of Life Coaching
What Life Coaching Is Not
Living Your Best Life
Getting ready for change
Presenting the passport for your coaching journey
Choosing Life Coaching for Long-Term Results
Tuning In to Your Inner Coach
Introducing your split personality!
Giving yourself the gift of your own good opinion
Turning up the volume on the voice of your inner coach
Having a coaching conversation
Identifying Your Current Priorities for Coaching
Chapter 2: Deciding What You Want to Take from Coaching
Assessing the Benefits and Challenges of Coaching
Attaining goals
Achieving balance
Finding purpose
Changing your mindset
Growing through self-awareness
Enjoying the journey
Considering the challenges of coaching
Deciding on a Coaching Method
Finding the right coach
Considering co-coaching
Deciding to self-coach
Making a Promise to Yourself
Checking out your current life conditions
Framing your coaching promise
Chapter 3 : Preparing for Coaching
Getting Ready for Your Coaching Session
Beginning Your Coaching Journey
Seeing the big picture
Packing your survival kit
The stages of your journey
Knowing Where You Are on the Road
Marking Your Progress
Using milestone goals to celebrate success
Giving yourself a pat on the back
Choosing people to cheer you on
Anticipating setbacks and relapses
Keeping a record
Painting a picture
Part II: Your Life Coaching Journey
Chapter 4 : Becoming Your Best Self
Considering Your Unique Gifts
What do you do really well?
How do you do that thing you do? Boosting your competencies
Noticing Your Preferences
Looking out or looking in?
Finding your behavioural styles
Adding new behaviours
Chapter 5: Choosing Your Beliefs
Understanding How Your Beliefs Shape You
Where do your beliefs come from?
What are your beliefs?
What do your beliefs give you?
Changing Your Beliefs
Reshaping a limiting belief
Getting under the skin of your most stubborn limiting beliefs
Learning to Manage Your Fears
Identifying fears that drive you and fears that block you
Recognising your fear foes
Minimising your fear foes
Chapter 6: Discovering the Values that Motivate You
Navigating with Your Own Coordinates
Reading your personal road map
Knowing what your needs are
Getting Clear on Your Values
What are your values?
Reflecting on your values
Sorting Through Conflicts of Motivation
Looking out for your heart’s desire
Dealing with changing priorities
Chapter 7: Stocking Up on Powerful Questions
Delving into the Power of Asking Questions
Heeding hesitation
Confronting confusion
Fighting frustration
Don’t Get Stuck Asking the Wrong Questions!
Asking the Right Questions
Moving down the funnel
Finding your most powerful questions
Listening to the Answers
When you don’t know the answer
Tuning into energy levels to find the answers
Chapter 8: Taking Stock of Now
Practising Awareness
Taking short cuts without cutting corners
Balancing assets and liabilities
Redefining success
Focusing on outcomes
Tapping into Your Intuitive Self
Trusting your gut feeling
Living with a light heart
Cultivating a relaxed focus
Knowing What You Really Want
You don’t have to have what you’ve always had
You’re creating your future now
Visualising your whole-life goals
Placing your whole-life goals on your horizon
Chapter 9: Exploring Your Options
Moving from Problems to Possibilities
Avoiding the ‘yes, but’ game
The desert island scenario
Assessing Your Stock of Resources
Building supportive networks
Increasing your resources
Expanding Your Range of Options
Developing a creative approach
Playing with unlimited options
Choosing the best fit
Chapter 10: Planning Effective Action
Smarten Up Your Goal Setting
Putting theory into practice
Smartening up to lose weight
Matching Your Options to Your Goals
Setting milestones for your journey
Taking baby steps
Keeping Your Promise to Yourself
Thinking like a hero
When life gets in the way of living
Exploding the myth of will-power
Dealing with jealousy from others
Part III: Focusing on the Elements of Your Life
Chapter 11: Career and Work
Assessing Your Attitudes to Work
Playing your part in different work roles
Balancing your different roles
Setting Your Work in Context
Making a conscious choice
Evaluating your job
Making adjustments at work
Improving Your Current Job
Keeping your focus
Dealing with negative situations
Finding Your Dream Work
Knowing your job-search goal
Working the market
Using your networks
Getting Recognition for Your Work
Getting feedback
Promoting your personal brand
Looking to the Future
Chapter 12: Money, Wealth and Abundance
Defining the Role of Money in Your Life
Being Financially Secure
Drawing up your financial ground rules
Developing your financial survival plan
Living Your Chosen Lifestyle
Counting the true cost of your lifestyle
Permitting yourself to be rich
Cultivating a Feeling of Wealth and Abundance
Giving It All Away
Chapter 13: People and Relationships
Enjoying Loving Relationships
Creating a relationship with yourself
Finding your soul mate
Building and maintaining a strong partnership
Deciding to leave a relationship
Nurturing Family Bonds
Setting family ground rules
Giving and Receiving Friendship
Maintaining lifelong friendships
Staying open to new friendships
Building Productive Networks
Widening your circle of influence
Getting into the networking groove
Taking a role in your world
Chapter 14: Physical, Mental and Emotional Well-being
Choosing Your Health Goals
Defining your health goals
Digging deeper into your motivation
Looking After Your Body
Avoiding illness and disease
Filling your body with the best fuel
Avoiding sweat and tears: Finding the best exercise for you
Building energy, strength and fitness
Taking Care of Your Mental and Emotional Well-being
Managing your emotions
Getting out of getting into a state
Developing mental resilience
Chapter 15: Developing and Growing
Thriving on Learning
Being your best
Harnessing your brain power
Playing in the Game of Life
Benefiting from a playful approach
Making the most of your leisure time
Getting in Touch with Your Spiritual Side
What is spirituality for you?
Accessing your spirituality
Exploring spirituality through coaching
Part IV: Working with the Themes of Coaching
Chapter 16: Attracting the Life You Want
Mastering the Art of Acceptance
Letting go of resistance
Being present
Wanting What You Have
Practising gratitude
Tuning into your positive emotions
Chapter 17: Coaching Yourself to Happiness
Discovering Your Happiness Formula
Getting into the flow
Delving into positive psychology
Identifying the elements of happiness for you
Discovering Optimism
Taking charge of your mindset
Practising the positive
Planning Your Happy Life
Making time to be happy
Keeping faith and focus on happiness
Chapter 18: Defining True Success
Knowing Your Value in the World
Adopting the personal qualities of success
Modelling excellence
Getting the Results You Want
Developing your inner success compass
Thinking Yourself to Success
Observing your thoughts
Creating positive outcomes
Chapter 19: Tackling Common Blocks
Kicking Procrastination into Touch
Getting to the root of why you procrastinate
Maintaining momentum
Sorting out wishing from wanting
Clearing Up Confusion
Knowing why you feel conflicted
Finding common ground for forward motion
Transforming Self-doubt into Self-esteem
Accepting yourself as you are
Knowing that you’re worth it
Part V: Creating a Harmonious Whole Life
Chapter 20: Achieving Balance
Finding Your Balance
Integrating the Goldilocks theory of balance into your life
Checking out your daily energy balance
Centring yourself
Regaining Your Balance
Managing yourself and your time
Learning to love delegation
Choosing to let go
Saying what you mean
Managing Longer-Term Stress
Spotting your danger signs
Coaching your way through stressful situations
Chapter 21: Making a Life-Changing Decision
Knowing How Your Stage of Life Affects Your Attitude to Change
Recognising Your Need to Make a Radical Change
Moving from pain to pleasure and purpose
Noticing the clues in your emotions
Deciding to be your authentic self
Making Your Best Decision
Fixing it
Fleeing from it
Building on strength
Letting Go and Integrating the New
Working through the change
Evolving to the next stage
Chapter 22: Applying Your Coaching Skills More Widely
Thinking beyond Self-Coaching
Developing Key Skills for Coaching Others
Hear, hear! The art of listening
Building rapport
Using Your Skills Ethically
Developing a Coaching Role in Your Life
Coaching friends and family
Building coaching into your job
Part VI: The Part of Tens
Chapter 23: Ten Life Coaching Beliefs about Yourself
You Are Unique
Your Whole Life Is the Canvas for Coaching
You Hold Your Own Agenda
You Are Resourceful
You Are Capable of Great Results
You Can Generate the Right Solutions for Yourself
You Are Free from Being Judged
You Can Make Powerful Choices
You Take Responsibility for Your Results
You Trust Your Senses
Chapter 24: Ten Questions to Keep Your Life on Track
What Would I Do If I Knew I Couldn’t Fail?
Who Am I Becoming?
What Am I Doing Right Now to Honour My Core Values?
What Am I Settling For?
What Is My Legacy?
Where Do I Focus My Attention?
How Am I Using My Gifts?
What Am I Holding on to That I No Longer Need?
How Much Time Do I Spend with People Who Inspire Me?
What One Thing Would I Change for the Better?
Chapter 25: Ten Daily Balancing Acts
See a Clear Vision
Take a Gratitude Tonic
Do a Kind and Thoughtful Act
Soak Up Wise Words
See-saw between Action and Reflection
Take a Deep Breath
Share a Smile
Give Yourself a Treat
Stretch Out
Get Natural
Chapter 26: Ten Inspirational Resources
Your Life Is a Journey
Get Out of Your Mind
See Things as You Want Them to Be
Choose Happiness
Feast Your Senses
Value Your Life Experience
Poetry Creates Motion
No Place Like Home
Your Life Is Significant
Let Your Inner Coach Come Out to Play
Appendix: Considering a Future as a Professional Life Coach
Knowing your offering
Choosing the right marketing methods for you
End User License Agreement
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In her business Jeni uses best practice coaching techniques together with NLP, and is a licensed facilitator of TetraMap (a holistic model of behaviour; www.tetramap.co.uk) and Goal Mapping (a brain friendly technique for identifying and maximising progress towards goals; www.liftinternational.com). She is addicted to learning and this helps her add value to her work with clients. But in her moments of brutal self-honesty Jeni will admit that quite a lot of the credit is down to the succession of cats who have owned her, from whom she has picked up a great deal about how to handle the ups and downs of life.*
One of the things Jeni likes best about being a coach is that she feels she always gets as much if not more out of the experience than her clients and she can’t thank them enough for the honour of seeing them move themselves from frustration to power. Honestly, it’s enough to make you want to write a book about it…
You can find out more about Jeni and her business at: www.reachforstarfish.com.
* This philosophy can be summed up as: play, ponder, and when in doubt, take a long nap in the sun or on a comfy bed.
It’s been a delight to work on the second edition of this book. My first thanks remain with the wonderful team at Wiley and especially Rachael Chilvers, who has been my Editor on both editions. You’ve been a joy once more!
I feel deep gratitude to all the friends and family who have shaped my life, loved and supported me throughout the writing process for both editions.
It’s been immensely gratifying to have had such great feedback from readers of the first edition and therefore my heartfelt thanks still go to the people who helped me make it as good as it could possibly be. My original reader group tried out activities, and fed back on sample chapters. Ali, Carol, Margaret, Anne, Pam, Carolyn, Jos, Pennie, Roma, Debbie, Brian, Liza, Sue, Doug, Paul and Tim – I truly valued your contributions and the book would have been the poorer without you all.
During the journey of updating and adding new chapters for the second edition three people in particular have been of significance. Marie Taylor, my business partner at www.livingrightnow.com, who individually and in our work together has shaped my philosophies about living a fully present life. Jules Wyman of www.positive-belief.co.uk who gave valuable input on her core expertise – confidence and self esteem. And Tim Downes of www.trueresults.co.uk who lives and breathes the journey of meaningful success for himself and his clients. Your influences have greatly enhanced the new chapters – thank you, dear friends and fellow coaches.
Final thanks are due to all of the inspirational people who have coached me, especially my current coach Mark Gleave (www.freedomfromthethinkingmind.co.uk), to all my clients who have taught me so much, and to readers of the first edition who through their feedback have helped me make this new edition an even more valuable resource for anyone wanting to create and enjoy their best self and life.
Brian, for your continued encouragement and belief in me.
Ali, for all that you gave and all that you still inspire in me.
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The placard highlights activities – some fun, some more serious – to help you on your coaching journey. Jump to these if you love filling out those personality questionnaires in magazines! 
I’ve witnessed some amazing transformations as a result of coaching. The inspiration icon shares what real people have done and how they have done it. Their experiences can give you clues to your own way forward.
This icon draws your attention to an important point to bear in mind, often one that’s been discussed in another chapter when I want to make sure you’ve got the connection in case you’re wandering randomly through the pages. (If you are, no turning down of page corners, now. Oh, all right, you can if you want to. It’s your book.) 
Coaching yourself is all about finding your own answers. The springboard icon signposts you to a great website, resource, or longer activity that can take you to another level in your knowledge or thinking. 
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