I heard Laura speak at the United Nations, and I instantly knew that I had to ask her to be part of my business. With her expertise and guidance, this book will not only propel your business to new heights but pinpoint those areas of your business you know need a stronger focus.

—Jenevieve Brewer, Founder, Jenevieve Brewer Talent Management, LLC

This book will transform your life.

—Matt Williams, Partner, Wind Dancer Films

Every money manager needs to talk to Laura. Laura is the catalyst to make profitable deals happen.

—Caroline Abramo, CEO and Founder, Pana Consulting, LLC

In politics, campaigns don't usually win or lose, they run out of money and time. So it's important to implement the strategies set forth in Laura's new book and ASK.

—Rob Cole, Founder and CEO, in the Field Global, Specializing in Media and Political Campaigns.

As a teenager, when you want to make something happen in school, sports, friendships, or anything else, you have to ask. Laura's approach helps you learn the necessity of asking in the best way possible.

—Caroline Paske Baulig

Laura has always impressed me with her energy and her passion for helping people to achieve their goals. She has been a student of the process of asking throughout her career, and this book lets you in on her secrets of THE ASK. Laura is the master asker.

—Robert E. Wahlers, CFRE, VP of Development, Hackensack Meridian Health and Adjunct Professor, Columbia University MS in Nonprofit Management

Hallelujah, a female expert on asking! Every conversation with Laura delivers clear next steps for my financial gain, success in my career, and personal fulfillment. I'm living the life of my dreams supported with the power of THE ASK.

—K. Marsden, Managing Partner, Touchpoint Strategies

The most invaluable perspective I learned from Laura is that when you remove the fear around asking for things you need, you remove the barriers between you and the success you and your business deserve. This book is a must read for anyone wanting to get to the next level personally or professionally.

—Ashleigh Young, Founder of Power Hour Consulting, LLC

Asking for help in our self-sufficient society, even if desperately needed, is incredibly difficult and borders on impossible for military families. The guidance in this well-crafted book allows the reader to put “the ask” in the proper context and thereby create a clear path connecting those with a real need to those with a viable solution.

—John Pray, leader of an organization dedicated to supporting military families in need

Laura has transformed the way we approach fundraising and inspires us to follow our passion with conviction. She has helped us to build our confidence as an organization, and we see, feel, and experience the results of her philosophy. Laura Fredricks rocks!

—Angelina Fiordellisi, Founding Artistic Director, Cherry Lane Theatre

THE ASK is important to my business because it has taught me how to ASK for what we need to continue giving caregivers the care they deserve.

—Sherri Reed, Founder and CEO, Sanctuary for Life

To anyone who needs to ASK for what you want, need, and deserve; this is for YOU.

THE ASK is your gateway to your success in every aspect of your life. Whether you want a more fulfilling personal life, a better and more high-paying job, more sales, or more money for your nonprofit, it all comes down to THE ASK.

As “The Expert on the ASK,” I know this book will transform the way you will make any ask in your life. That's a start. But it will also transform the way you approach life. When you ask you empower. You empower not only yourself, but also anyone you encounter. When you ask, your confidence, your energy, and your determination and focus draw people toward you. They want to learn more about you—your passions and your products, projects, and programs—and, in turn, they want to help you.

Whenever someone asks me what I do, I say “I help people, businesses, and nonprofits raise money—and more of it.” The very next thing everyone says to me is “Gee, I need to speak to you.” Why? Of course they probably need to raise money for something, but they genuinely want to know how to ask. They know they need to learn how to do it because it is a missing piece whose absence limits their personal or professional growth.

I have an unstoppable passion to teach and share my asking talent, and it started many years ago. My journey began as a civil-litigation attorney working for the state attorney general's office in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I was winning practically all my cases on cross-examination, which was great. Later on, I looked back and discovered why I had won them all on cross-examination. After all, as a 26-year old deputy attorney general, I thought that that was my job and it was supposed to happen. Looking back with a much more mature and practical eye, I realized I was asking the right questions. I quickly learned the power of asking the right questions at the right time. That was the difference between captivating a judge or jury and persuading them to side with my case or losing them and losing the case.

Eight years later, feeling total burnout after working on 162 cases, I transitioned from law to philanthropy. I was creating my own formulas for how to raise big gifts with my ask techniques and breaking every fundraising record for the large universities and the major hospital where I worked. All along, I was writing books on my step-by-step process for asking for money, because no one had put organization, structure, and focus on an area that had been largely left to chance, luck, and time. My legal background prepared me to bear down on the facts; be a superior listener; and prepare, prepare, and prepare for any and all responses to my asks. I started my own consulting firm, sharing my ask practice with each of my clients. Again, every organization's fundraising totals skyrocketed because they had learned how to ask great questions at the right time and then how to make THE ASK using my techniques. Then it dawned on me that THE ASK is not just for nonprofits, it is for everyone in business and everyday living. So I wrote two books on THE ASK that are international industry go-to guides. For over two decades I traveled the world speaking on THE ASK because I truly believe with every ember I have that THE ASK is the most important, empowering skill that anyone of any age and living anywhere on the planet needs to possess to have the best life possible. I have had teenagers come up to me and say that they needed THE ASK to help them find their voice so that they could speak up to bullies. Seniors would tell me they needed THE ASK so they could have the conversation with their children to help pay for their grandchildren's education. Entrepreneurs of all ages, once they heard what I do, had to know how to ask and get money for their start-ups.

THE ASK is for anyone in the media, politics, fundraising, sales, marketing, insurance, finance, travel, health, wellness, beauty, technology, science, religion, theater, education, arts, and athletics who needs to ask in order to get ahead in life. Not asking is probably the reason why most people experience depression, low self-esteem, weight gain, weight loss, lack of sleep, and problems at work and in their personal relationships. This book will show you step by step how to make your best ask in any area of your life. It will also show you how you can turn around any ask that did not go exactly the way you wanted and get it back on track the way you do want it.

This book puts the focus on you as the asker. It starts with the premise that you will be making the ask and that you know whom you want to ask or at least have ideas of whom you can ask. If you need some guidance, tips, and techniques to determine who should make the ask, how to build a pipeline of people you can ask, or how to decide on the right setting for making the ask, I strongly recommend that you first read THE ASK: How to Ask for Support for Your Nonprofit Cause, Creative Project, or Business Venture (Fredricks, Jossey Bass, 2010). That will equip you with the knowledge and practical tips you need so that you can get the most from this book.

So what exactly is THE ASK, and why is this book different from previous books, including mine, about this life skill? I have listened carefully for over 25 years to the comments made at my seminars and conferences, and to the scenarios that people have presented me when they needed to ask. I have read all the emails and notes that people sent me about their ask experiences, and I have reflected on the contributions I had made on television, radio, and newspaper interviews on THE ASK. The common theme was that everyone wanted me to expand and highlight THE ASK as a change agent for people's lives. They shared with me that THE ASK frees them from fear of rejection and empowers them to say “I can do this for anything I want at any time.” They expressed a feeling of pure joy when they knew in their hearts that they had made the right ask, regardless of the result. Their win was that they had made THE ASK, which gave them more self-confidence in every aspect of their lives.

That's what this book is all about. THE ASK is about more than getting what you want. THE ASK is my self-help motivational book for people who have dreams, goals, and a strong desire to have the best and most fulfilling personal and professional life possible. I've taken my previous work on THE ASK and added an off-the-charts new dimension. THE ASK defines what anyone, anywhere needs to do to be successful in any area of their life. You see, this is about much more than getting more money for your nonprofit, getting that higher-paying job, or getting your significant other to do more work around the house. Will THE ASK accomplish those goals? You bet. But it does not end there. THE ASK will change the way you think, the way you approach life, and the way you tackle each goal or challenging event that comes your way. You will have the skills to use as well as the mindset to approach life very differently because you will have the confidence and certainty that you have made the right ask every time. So THE ASK is not just a skill; it is a lifestyle.

For many of us, our asks involve some aspect of money. When you think of it every decision you make in life involves money. Do you make coffee or buy coffee? Do you drive or take mass transit? Do you sleep in and take a pay cut that day at work? Do you hire a babysitter or stay in Friday night? Do you buy new clothes or alter the ones you have? Do you clean your house or have someone do it for you? I could go on and on, but I know you get my point. Truly every decision you make (and we make dozens of decisions each hour, day, month, and year) involves some aspect of money. This is why I begin Chapter 1 with a focus on tackling the meaning, the values, and the beliefs we place on money.

Many people do not ask because they have a horrible relationship with money. To them it means debt, obligation, depression, loans, alimony, insecurity, and arguments. How can anyone ask if they have a horrible and age-old problem with money? In the initial chapter we work through what I call your “money blockers,” those thoughts and sabotaging behaviors that prevent you from having the best relationship with money. Once your money blockers are turned off, you will be clearly focused and convinced that money is opportunity. This transitional mindset will allow you to be open for the following steps, which involve learning the essentials before you make your ask.

Chapter 2 walks you through the top 10 reasons why people should ask. The one that heads the list and is the underlying theme of this entire book is empowerment. When you ask, you create the greatest sense of self-worth that no one can give you; you give it to yourself when you ask. This will allow you to stand out amongst your peers. It will allow you to become the role model in all your relationships. It will define who you are, what you want, and how you will organize your thoughts and orchestrate your actions on a consistent and seamless basis. I end Chapter 2 with Laura's ASKing mantras, which have served me so well over the years—trust me, they work. They have helped numerous boards, sales teams, families, financial planners, and boyfriends and girlfriends attain and then exceed their professional and personal goals. They will also help you when you are faced with the most challenging and emotionally draining asks.

I always like to anticipate what the reader might be saying after I list the positive effects of THE ASK, because I know there are reasons why people don't ask. In Chapter 3 I list the top 10 reasons why people don't ask and I provide workable solutions to shift your mindset away from negative beliefs. THE ASK needs to have a positive focus at all times. As Grant Cardone in his book Sell or Be Sold (Greenleaf Book Group, 2012) says, you need to go on a “negative diet,” and I will help you melt away your negative “I can't ask” pounds in this book.

Everyone has the potential to be what I call the Exceptional Asker. How you become that Exceptional Asker depends on the beliefs and values you place on your ask. In Chapter 4 I list the specific traits and values that I aspire to with each and every ask I make. That list has helped me over and over again as well as the people and teams I coach and train. Whether you are a media talent, philanthropist, politician, investor, producer, mom, lifestyle expert, athlete, teacher, or student I guarantee you need to know, embrace, and demonstrate these qualities. I just love to see the look on people's faces when they realize that they must first own their ask. THE ASK is so much more than knowing what you want, making the ask, and then praying for a good result. THE ASK requires organization, structure, and focus, and it all begins with you. You have to own your ask. Do you believe 100 percent in your ask? If you do not, I promise that you will be disappointed with the result. I share with you in this chapter how you can embrace the core beliefs and traits of the Exceptional Asker as well as set the stage with the essentials you need to know and practice before you ask.

One of the key elements of THE ASK that distinguishes this book from all others is that I make the world of asking unbelievably simple. I know that if it is simple, it is doable. However, it is doable only if there is the right preparation. At the heart of THE ASK are my preparation steps. If you take the time to carefully work through and prepare solid answers, you will be doing a victory lap with each ask. In Chapter 4 are my incredibly simple but powerful three questions that come before any ask:

• Why me?
• Why now?
• What will it do?

These are simple questions that anyone needs to ask and answer, particularly if they do not have much time before they make their ask. I walk you through the ways you can answer those questions because they always come up. When you can quickly prepare solid answers to these three questions, you will be that much close to getting a “Yes” answer, and that is exactly where you want to be.

After you have the answers to these three simple questions, you will be ready for my more in-depth preparation for your ask in Chapter 5, which presents my 5-Step Foolproof Method for Any ASK. I created these five steps recently and I've witnessed transformational results. Why? Simply put, people crave structure. If there is structure, people have guidance and a path to follow. THE ASK involves much more than blurting out what you want and hoping the other person will blindly say yes. We have all heard of the quick success stories—the off-the-charts investment deal, the billion-dollar merger, and the million-dollar gift. I know all of these took time and strategy to line up the right person, to make the right ask, using the right words, at the right time with countless hours of preparing the answers to any response that might arise. This is why my 5-Step Foolproof Method for Any ASK is so important. With these five steps, which must be done in an exact order, anyone can make the exceptional ask with exceptional results.

Chapter 5 ends with my latest secret and successful tip. THE ASK is nothing more than two sentences and a question. This chapter illustrates with real examples of how this technique works and the words you can use so that you do not over-ask your ask. This reduces the time it takes to make your ask and expedites the time it takes to get a positive answer.

Perhaps the question I am asked most often when I train people on how to make THE ASK is: What are the words I should use? Many people have in their minds what they would like to say and the concept they want to get across, but they freeze or say some confusing sentences that make their ask awkward and disjointed. Chapter 5 has the answer because my examples give you suggested words to use. Yes indeed, there are certain words that resonate and are more persuasive and inviting that you can use when you make your ask. This chapter reveals those winning words to use and explains how to use them.

Some asks do not go the way you planned. This is why I included the section “Was Your Ask Really an ASK?” in Chapter 6. All too often we think we asked, when in fact we really didn't. Many people are under the impression that statements like “I'd like to have more money” or “I have this great new product” are asks when in fact they are not. I show you in this chapter how to turn around the statements we make in business, fundraising, and everyday life and convert them into powerful asks. This leads into “Asking U-Turns” to use when you receive a “No” answer. I show you how a no now does not and will not mean no later and how to keep your ask alive long after your receive the initial no.

We end Chapter 6 with “Five Ways to Turn a Bad Ask into a Win.” Sometimes we just asked the wrong person because the person being asked is not the decision maker, we asked at an inopportune time, or you thought you had asked a question when in fact you had not. Chapter 6 will give you words and phrases to avoid that can sabotage your ask. Fear not; I turn those around for you to get you back on track.

All these tips, tools, techniques, and formulas on THE ASK become real and practical in Chapters 7, 8, and 9 where I share stories and illustrate how THE ASK works in business, philanthropy, and everyday living. You will read some familiar and some not-so-familiar scenarios that will highlight and spotlight how you can use THE ASK in your professional and personal life. There is nothing better than a good story to guide you and inspire you to take that leap of faith and ask for what you know in your heart you deserve. These stories are special, meaningful, and personal experiences I have had or situations that people have asked me to work out with them. I am most certain after you read them you will identify yourself or project yourself in the same situation and will learn and emerge with confidence to make your ask. That is my wish for you.

I end the book with Chapter 10, “The Hardest Asks You Will Ever Make.” I truly believe that the hardest asks are the ones you ask yourself. How do you ask for help, forgiveness, acceptance, patience, strength, faith, love, guidance, inner peace, or more fun? In Chapter 10 I explain why these personal asks are so hard to make and how you can get beyond your trepidation. I know that it is one thing to write about THE ASK, but it is another to live and learn from it.

I saved what I feel is the best for last. Chapter 10 ends with the hardest asks I have ever made of myself. You will have to wait until the end of the book to see how these asks transformed my life and made me the most ecstatic and grateful person on the planet. It pulls together all the themes, mantras, tools, tips, and advice I share throughout the book and ends with my story to inspire you.

This book will change your life and you will be amazed by how simple, seamless, and successful asking can be. Let's get that life you dreamed of and make it happen right now. Let's unveil THE ASK together and watch the magic unfold.

Welcome to my book—my brand new book—which I am most certain will change the way you approach life because you asked. Now, I have written other books on this topic but this book is completely new—new techniques, steps, mantras, and stories, and best of all it has more than 175 different ways, with sample dialogues, to make your ask. Whatever you need to ask for, this book will show you how to do it and even supply the words to use. I've saved the best for last in the final chapter—the hardest asks you will ever make—and they may surprise you!

I was driven to write this book, and honestly it took me far less time to write than I had anticipated. Every day someone would ask me, How do I get: a doctor to give me more options for my condition? my children to get off their cell phones and help around the house? my significant other to agree to retire at the same time? my boss to give me the promotion I deserve? my friends to spend the money and come to my destination wedding? my cousin to invest in my new company? my co-workers to support my charity event? that vacation package upgrade without spending more money? Well, the answers to ALL these questions are right here in this book because I cover it all and in every category—business, philanthropy, and everyday needs. THE ASK will not only show you how to ask, but it will also show you how you can make an exceptional ask every time. You will have no fear, no hesitation, and no guessing how you should make your ask. THE ASK will give you all the organization, structure, and focus you need to make any ask.

Many people have asked me how I reached this point and combine all my experiences as a journalist, attorney, fundraiser, speaker, and author, and roll that into becoming the CEO and founder of THE ASK. So I thought I'd share a very entertaining story of my journey and the path to THE ASK.

It was my last year of law school, right before graduation, when friends and even my mother said “Why don't you go see this woman, Peggy? She will tell you about your past and predict what you will do in the future.” In other words, a psychic. Everyone was raving about Peggy so I thought, “Why not? I have nothing to lose.” I had my job all set, clerking for an appellate judge for two years, and then I would go on to a fabulous, high-paying job at a select law firm.

So off I go to see Peggy. I played it very cool, not saying a word and trying not to reveal anything that would tip her off about me. I was wearing basic brown and no jewelry. The first thing Peggy did was “read my aura,” where she could see the dominant colors surrounding me. She said “You are surrounded by bright yellow, which means you have abundant energy.” She got that one right. I've been known to exhaust and outlast my friends and family with unbridled energy in any event, any conversation, anywhere, and at any time! Next she said, “And you have brilliant green around you, meaning you will be surrounded by money all your life.” Well, rock and roll! That was exactly what I needed to hear. After all, I had mega law school loans to pay off, starting in three months.

She then started reading my cards and what she said next devastated me. She said, “Whatever you have been studying or whatever you are doing now or will do in the next two years you will not be doing the rest of your life.” I'm sure I did not contain my surprised look, or my dilated eyes, or my gasp. All I could think was, “I'm about to graduate law school, I've invested three long years of my life and I'm not going to be practicing law?”

She continued to flip more cards one by one and then defiantly put her right index finger on one card and said, “See there? It is the Scales of Justice.” Well, now I felt better. We were getting back on track to law. Maybe I would be a Supreme Court Justice. That sounded good to me I could definitely live with that idea. I began to think this whole ordeal may not be so bad.

“The Scales of Justice is in between the Ten of Cups card, representing family, and the Ten of Pentacles card, representing wealth,” Peggy said. “This means your life's work will be helping families be more balanced, and probably about money.”

I don't have a finance degree and, in fact, I took one micro economics class in college and almost failed it. My life has been dedicated to words, not numbers. I'm just a journalist on her way to help a judge write his law opinions. I'm sunk.

The very last thing Peggy said to me was “From everything I see, you are the real Don Quixote. You know, the character in Miguel de Cervantes' novel who traveled on his horse from village to village in search of people in need. Like Don Quixote, you are a questor. But instead, you will be traveling from city to city and your quest will be to help people. I see so many families that need your help, and they have so many money worries.”

That was in 1983. I walked away thinking, “Well, that was entertaining at best,” and went about my path. I did clerk for the appellate judge and then went on to practice civil litigation for the State Attorney General's Office in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, for seven years. Maybe Peggy got the timeline wrong. But in the middle of my sixth year at the Attorney General's Office I was getting absolute burnout. I had dozens of cases assigned to me and the reward for winning a case was getting a brand new one. My “unbridled energy” had left me and I was exhausted. At the time, I was very active with the Philadelphia Bar Association and they had a foundation that raised and distributed money to community legal services such as Women Against Abuse, Juvenile Law Center, and Legal Clinic for the Disabled. They asked me to be the director of development to help them raise money and distribute funds to these legal community organizations. This is how I transitioned from law to philanthropy. So there I was, raising money for families in need of legal services. Peggy's words surfaced, families, money, me?

And so the journey unfolds. I spent the next two decades raising millions of dollars for nonprofits such as the Deborah Heart and Lung Hospital (from grateful patients), Temple University, and Pace University (from alumni, and their families). Afterwards, I started my own consulting business with amazing groups like the American Heart Association, the Central Park Conservancy, Planned Parenthood, and Operation Homefront, working with these organizations to raise unprecedented amounts of money.

While I am happily raising money, I discovered that asking for money came very easily to me but was torturous, painful, and uncomfortable to many. I developed a whole new organization, structure, and focus on how to ask for money and wrote two books on THE ASK. I started speaking internationally on THE ASK traveling to Russia, Australia, Italy, Mexico, and the Netherlands, and teaching it at several Ivy League universities and at international conferences, helping not only nonprofits but also businesses and individuals on how to ask for money, the right way with amazing results. Don Quixote indeed, except I travel by train, plane, or rental car.

Throughout this entire journey, I had the privilege of working with people to fulfill their philanthropic dreams; to start or escalate their businesses; to ask for a raise, a promotion, a new job title; or simply to ask for what they need and deserve in their personal or professional life. But before I could get them these results, I discovered that many people had crazy definitions and relationships with money that were taking a toll on their personal and professional lives and their health.

All these experiences brought me to this point in time that drove me to write this brand new book on THE ASK. As you will see, every decision you make in life involves money. How and even if you ask depends on your attitudes, beliefs, and values about money. In the past, I did focus much of my time, my practice, and my passion to help people raise money but I found that while THE ASK can help you ask for money, it does much more than get you the money you want. THE ASK is empowerment on every level. It empowers you to break out and away from everything that has held you back from asking for whatever you need and deserve. THE ASK, this book, will change your life because you are in the driver's seat and you can get what you want and deserve—because you made that exceptional ask. THE ASK is your life's manual that will free you to have anything you can dream.