Divorce, debt, redundancy, loss of loved ones. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t struggle in the face of such ordeals. But what would it be like if we could learn the skills of not only surviving such challenges, but learning and growing because of them?

At Psychologies, we believe that real strength is not about powering through a crisis with a stiff upper lip. It’s about using life’s challenges to reset your course, for you to be able to admit vulnerability, tell the truth about how you feel and then find a way to move forward again.

Yes, when you are first faced with huge changes it is a massive shock to the system, and you can feel lost, scared, sad and confused. But real strength is about feeling all of these emotions and then finding a way to centre yourself again and respond from a place of hope and optimism versus fear. It’s not about inane optimism either. You are allowed to prepare for the worst as well as hope for the best. Real strength is about finding a sense of meaning in the adversity. It can be an opportunity to look at how you are spending your time and your energy and committing to a life that is built on your values.

At Psychologies, we believe that each and every one of us has an innate wisdom to help choose the right path. Right now, you may not know what that path may be, but by picking up this book you have taken the first step to finding a way through the challenges you may be currently facing and building the resilience you need to create the life you want.

And we are right by your side.

Good luck!

Suzy Greaves, Editor, Psychologies

There are obviously a million possible reasons why you picked up this book, but we would hazard a guess that a big part of it is because, right now, you could do with some real strength. We’d like to point out that that alone – the fact you are on the hunt for things to help yourself in your current situation – indicates you are already stronger and more resilient than you think. Being able to seek support is an important part of building strength.

‘When life gives you lemons, make lemonade’ or so the saying goes. And this is possibly what this book is about in a nutshell. No one can escape the lemons, after all. There are not many things we can guarantee in life but the fact we will all, at some point, come across adversity is one of them. Adversity, trauma, pain, struggles – call it what you will – upheaval happens in our lives whether we like it or not and, chances are, it’s happening to you right now.

This could be subtle upheaval such as rows with loved ones and disappointments, or more serious trauma such as bereavement, getting divorced and illness. It doesn’t have to be an ‘event’ at all; you could just feel that you are in a rut. We are all thrown a curveball once in a while but it’s how we react and deal with those curveballs that makes us stronger. And crucially, how we grow from them. That’s what we believe real strength is at Psychologies magazine – not just surviving hard times, but thriving because, and in spite of them – and this is what this book aims to help you to do.

But just as the traumas we will all experience in our lives will differ hugely, so will our perceptions of those experiences. The same can be said of what we constitute as real strength all we can say, is that ‘real’ is the crucial word here; because it’s about what feels real and authentic to you, what makes you feel strong.

That’s probably the most important ethos here at Psychologies magazine: you are an individual and what helps and inspires you when you hit a rough patch won’t necessarily help the next person. That’s why we’d like you to see Real Strength as a toolkit for unlocking and building upon your inner resilience; your ability, not just to bounce back from adversity, but to use it as a platform to bounce even higher. And this is perfectly within your reach. It’s likely that it doesn’t feel like that right now, but trust us, it is.

In fact, we’re here not only to help you believe that, but to show you how it’s done. Using the latest research and advice from experts in fields of wellbeing and resilience, Real Strength aims to help you define your own brand of resilience and to develop the skills to tap into it. We sincerely believe that if you can do that, there is greater joy and contentment waiting for you around the corner and it’s very probable you will come to see this hardship you’re going through as the greatest gift you were ever given.

HOW TO USE THIS BOOK

We’ve divided this book into three parts:

1. What Does Real Strength Mean to You?
2. What’s Stopping You from Bouncing Back?
3. How Can You Build Real Strength?

In Part 1, you’ll gain an overview of the interpretations – current and not so current – of real strength in our culture. We’ll invite 
you to look at all the different ways in which we, at Psychologies, define it, and encourage you to decide which parts of the list chime most with you in order to curate your own definition. Or at least to decide which facets of real strength you’d like to work on the most.

In Part 2, we’ll help you to understand what obstacles you might be coming up against that are stopping you from feeling and being stronger. We’ll look at whether certain people are naturally more resilient than others – what skills and qualities they have that you could learn and how to learn them. Also, there’s a section on ‘strength robbers’ – common pitfalls we fall into that chip away at our ability to be resilient.

In Part 3, we give you real techniques and actual therapies that professionals use that will help you to build strength and resilience in the most empowering and lasting way possible. We aim for these practical steps to be things you can take away with you for the rest of your life. We don’t want to keep you waiting until the final part for practical help though, so throughout the book you’ll find tips that you can try out in order to start feeling better and stronger right now.

THE EXPERTS INTERVIEWED FOR 
REAL STRENGTH

Liggy Webb, Consultant in Behavioural Skills

• Liggy Webb is a leading author, presenter and thought leader on resilience. She has researched and developed a range of techniques and practical approaches to support both individuals and organizations to cope more effectively and successfully with the demands and challenges of life.
• Some of the organizations she has worked with include the United Nations, the World Trade Organization, BBC, NHS, Macmillan Cancer Support, Sainsbury’s, Ralph Lauren and Walt Disney.
• Liggy is also the founding director of The Learning Architect, an international consortium of behavioural skills specialists. She is recognized as a thought leader on resilience and is regularly asked to be a keynote speaker across private and public sectors.
• Liggy’s latest book Resilience: How To Cope When Everything Around You Keeps Changing is a practical and accessible guide for coping with change and offers advice on how to how to bounce back from challenging situations.

Dr Michael Sinclair, Consultant Counselling Psychologist

• Dr Michael Sinclair is an Associate Fellow of the British Psychological Society and a Chartered Scientist registered with the Science Council. He works with individuals, couples and families who are experiencing a wide range of psychological problems, such as depression and anxiety. He also provides cutting-edge stress management training to corporate employees as well as mindfulness workshops for the public.
• He is one of the founders and the Clinical Director of City Psychology Group in London. He is the consultant to several corporate occupational health departments advising on employees’ mental health and wellbeing. He also provides psychological consultancy and performance coaching to senior managers working in law and finance, as well as training and supervision to other health practitioners and psychologists.
• He has worked as a psychologist within schools, specialist mental health clinics and GP’s surgeries and The Royal Free Hospital in London. He is particularly skilled in delivering cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), as well as being highly experienced in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and other mindfulness-based approaches for behavioural change.
• He has published a range of self-help books, including: Fear and Self-Loathing in the City: A Guide To Keeping Sane In The Square Mile, The Little CBT Workbook: A Step By Step Guide To Gaining Control Of Your Life, Mindfulness for Busy People: Turning Frantic and Frazzled into Calm and Composed and Working with Mindfulness: Keeping Calm and Focussed to Get the Job Done.
• His latest book is The Little ACT Workbook, An Introduction 
to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: A Mindfulness-
Based Guide for Leading a Full and Meaningful Life.