Dialogue GapWhy Communication Isn't Enough and What We Can Do About It, Fast
The book that bridges the chasm between communication and understanding in negotiations For years Peter Nixon worked with people from all walks of life, teaching them the art of negotiation. But it soon became apparent that the issue was not negotiation itself, but dialogue between parties. We have become experts at sending information—via email, text message, Internet, TV, and other forms of media, communicating, but not engaging, in an active dialogue defined by collaborative thinking. In Dialogue Gap, Nixon explores this growing disconnect and its significance in an increasingly globalized world where the ability to engage with others—in order to address issues like climate change, cultural differences, etc.—has become essential. Helps the reader differentiate communication and dialogue Explores the make-up and causes of the "Dialogue Gap" and what constitutes "good" dialogue (the right people talking about the right issues in the right way at the right time and in the right place) Identifies the most common reasons people don't dialogue effectively and provides helpful tips on how to engage in more effective, productive dialogues Effective dialogue is essential for general success, ensuring that all key stakeholders—in business, politics, or elsewhere—get what they want in the most efficient and productive way possible. Looking at successful and failed dialogues the author has experienced first-hand in Asia, Europe, North America, the Caribbean, and the Middle East in both the public and private sector from across industries, Dialogue Gap provides essential information for making the most of your interactions with others.
Introduction What Is Dialogue Gap? 1 Part I Dialogue Gap Chapter 1 How Dialogue Gap Arose 39 Chapter 2 The Implications of Dialogue Gap 85 Part II Dialogue Solutions Chapter 3 How to Get the Right People to Dialogue on the Right Issues 139 Chapter 4 Dialogue Leader Behaviors 163 Chapter 5 Dialogue Time and Space 229 Part III Dialogue Leadership Chapter 6 The Cost of Failed Dialogue 251 Chapter 7 Sustaining Dialogue 269 Chapter 8 Dialogic Leadership 315 Conclusion 333 Appendix A What Prevents Effective Dialogue? 337 Appendix B Organizational Dialogue Assessment 345 Appendix C Dialogue Skill Practice Activities 359 Acknowledgments 371 About the Author 375 Index 377
Peter Nixon works with business owners, senior executives, and society leaders around the world, specializing in the facilitation, negotiation, and implementation of change through dialogue. Raised in Montreal, Canada, Peter is qualified as a Chartered Accountant and spent several years serving as an auditor with Coopers & Lybrand (now PwC) in Montreal, Geneva, and Hong Kong. Moving to Hong Kong in 1989, he has been involved in the hand over of Hong Kong, the emergence of China and India as global superpowers, and contributed to important dialogues throughout Asia, the Middle East, Europe, and the Americas. Peter's clients include senior leaders and teams from financial institutions, professional service firms, telecommunications companies, hotels, airlines, healthcare, charities, manufacturers, IT groups, member-based organizations, schools, universities, and property, spiritual, environmental, and youth groups. Splitting his personal time between Hong Kong and Montreal, Peter can be reached at Peter.Nixon@PotentialDialogue.com.
At no time in human history have we been so connected but felt so isolated; have communicated so much but dialogued so little; and multi-tasked so well but struggled so much to be present. In Dialogue Gap: Why Communication Isn't Enough and What We Can Do About It, Fast, Peter Nixon introduces you to the perils of the growing disconnect between the tools of communication at our disposal and how we actually converse, a disconnect which arises when the quality of our dialogues falls short of what is needed to get the most out of our relationships at work, at home, and beyond. Emerging from the unique perspectives on human interaction Nixon has gained while managing, consulting, training, speaking, coaching, and auditing leading companies in over fifty countries around the globe, the book explores the lack of dialogue in a world where we spend more than half our time communicating digitally, rather than interacting with others face to face. Showing how achieving the best possible outcomes—be they professional or personal—requires getting the right people to talk about the right issues, in the right way, at the right time, and in the right space, Nixon presents proven and practical ways to achieve more meaningful dialogue, illustrated with examples from his own international experiences. Sure to become a mainstay of the business lexicon, Dialogue Gap gets to the heart of what's missing in today's conversations—whether they're about sales, services, sourcing, project and talent management, auditing, compliance, performance appraisals, entrepreneurship, or corporate governance—and shows you how to reboot the way you talk to others. As recent events have shown, the world needs more dialogic, less autocratic leaders if we are to survive and thrive in the increasingly complex and dynamic markets of the twenty-first century, and this book is your guide to bridging the dialogue gap.
Praise for Dialogue Gap "Peter Nixon's Dialogue Gap is a powerful and a timely call for all of us who care for the fate of humanity's future. His Holiness the Dalai Lama, for whom I have had the honor to serve as principal English translator for over twenty-five years, often expresses his hope that the twenty-first century be a 'Century of Dialogue.' With Peter's work, we now have the specifics of the tools to make that noble aspiration a practical reality. I urge everyone who is concerned about the health of humanity and the world we live in to read this important book." —Thupten Jinpa, PhD; Principal English translator to the Dalai Lama; author of Essential Mind Training "The scale of the issues which now confront our humanity are of such magnitude and complexity that they can no longer be addressed solely by countries or even by regions. This is why Dialogue Gap is so timely. Peter Nixon has pointed to what needs to be done at every level of society. Here are guidelines on how to do this effectively, from a person of great experience in promoting dialogue. This publication could go a long way toward reducing the gap he has so clearly identified, and with this, enable us to 'go to it,' knowing that we all have roles and responsibilities—together." —Alan Stewart, PhD; author of Time to Converse: At the Heart of Human Warmth "Dialogue Gap has helped me to understand how to engage and connect with others rather than just transfer information. This is a must-read, and a must have skill set for managers and leaders." —Gerry Redmond, Assurance Enablement Leader; Ernst & Young, Asia Pacific "Peter Nixon has shone a spotlight on a critically important key to organizational performance—getting the right people together to talk about the right things in the right way. No problem of any significance is solved without proper dialogue. If you want to get higher quality results, read this book." —Robin Stuart-Kotze, PhD; Chairman, Behavioural Science Systems; author of Performance: The Secrets of Successful Behaviour "Peter Nixon is a dynamic presenter, and his information on dialogue is key to success as an entrepreneur in an ever changing globally interconnected community." —Dean Lindal, former Global Vice President, Entrepreneurs' Organization "Effective dialogue is needed if directors are to lead their organizations successfully through the turbulent waters of the twenty-first century." —Gordon M. Nixon, President & CEO, Royal Bank of Canada "I believe dialogue is a critical element in talent management. Dialogue is essential when attempting to strike a balance between the needs and ambitions of the individual and those of the organization. In his latest book, Peter once again helps us to make sense of the complex dance that is dialogue. His insights are brought to life by stories and examples from Peter's years of experience in his chosen field, particularly here in Asia where it takes both time and commitment for employers to close the talent management dialogue gap." —Nick Deal, Head, People Development, Cathay Pacific Airways Ltd